Entitled and passionately stuck

I recently heard a rant about a person and they constantly used the word "entitlement". I feel like I am a pretty smart girl where I know what words mean (especially in the right form or context), but I still thought what exactly does this mean?  So I looked it up. Entitled: the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

The Dream.

Now, let me correct myself when I say, I am (at least I try to be) a humble and giving person. There are a few things in life I do feel entitled to: my education and my career. If I had to be truthful, Yes, I feel like because I have a degree I should be making a certain amount of money and working in a particular industry. Yes, I want those things that I probably don't need. But who doesn't want a great life, with a nice income, and a great job!

Lets go back for a minute, I feel like our generation was urged to believe "IF you go to school, graduate, THEN you will make a life for yourself". Like that was the "way" or the answer to how to ultimately be "successful". What I've learned is that it's not. From my experience, I held this statement on a pedestal thinking I am entitled to the rewards because I followed its golden rule. 

Frustration.

In my frustration I've found, there is a thin line between passion and stuck. I can't tell you how often I get the question, "what is your passion". It seems like that is the new replacement for the educational standpoint of purpose. Simply put, find your purpose in your passion, take your passion, and monetize on it. If only it were that simple. Passion is a very strong feeling about a person or thing. They make finding your monetizable passion an easy task.

This leads me to feeling like I am stuck. My stuck isn’t a negative connotation, I think it's realistic. I am stuck in a place in my life where I can't move forward simply because it's not time, and I refuse to go back. Don’t get me started on taking action and being a go getter. It’s like you have to wait because it’s not your time, but if you don’t act, you’ll never have the opportunity. But if you move to soon, you could mess it all up, but if you wait, you might miss the chance.

If only I could get to the other side of stuck. Passion.

Perspective.

One thing I appreciate about my fiancé is that he gives me a different perspective to life. I am so grateful for where I am and wanting more doesn't mean I'm not grateful, I just feel it pushes me to figure out where I'm going next or what more there is for me. Stuck in a sense that even though I am happy and things aren't bad, I acknowledge I am at a standstill. 

For the past month, I have faithfully listening to a church Podcast that has been speaking directly to my life. It talks about God's will, following it, and finding your purpose in his plan/in serving Christ. Even with my writing this post, it's like "God am I doubting your will". But I know I'm not. You know that verse in the bible where it states "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose". I believe that, I'm simply just trying to find my way. 

I'm coming up on three years at a certain phase in my life, and although I am "ready" to move on, it is simply not. my. time. I think that's such a hard pill to swallow. Acceptance. Patience (not my strong suit). So for now, I’ll continue to reflect and wait. I'll try to remove my entitled self and continue to pursue my passion while being stuck in the present. Hopefully with less frustration.